


A Little Bit Broken

by TheGirlWhoDancesWithAlphas



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, M/M, Mentions of rape and past rape, Past Suicide Attempt, Suicide Attempt, student teacher relationship, student!derek, teacher!stiles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWhoDancesWithAlphas/pseuds/TheGirlWhoDancesWithAlphas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles knew somewhere deep in his heart that it was beyond wrong to fall for one of his students, that he was making not only his life more difficult but also Lydia's, Derek's and Laura's. </p><p>Also probably Peter's but he didn't give a shit about that asshole. </p><p>The point was that Stiles knew what he was doing was stupid, but that didn't mean it was any easier to stop loving Derek; If anything it made it a little bit harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What if you fell in love with a boy?

Stiles Stilinski had no idea what he was doing with his life. This fact probably stemmed from the fact that he was currently living in New York City, attempting to make his living as a high school teacher. That alone was probably enough to tell you that Stiles, was a masochist.

Honestly though, what kind of person thinks it’s a good idea to move all the way across the country- not halfway— Oh no no, go big or go home buddy, and teach Folklore and Magic History to a bunch of high school delinquents?

Apparently, he did.

Or at least that’s what it seemed like given the fact that he was standing at the front of a classroom filled with students whose eyes were—well anywhere but on him. 

“Man who the fuck cares about this shit, this is like some Twilight bullshit or whatever.” One of them groaned from the back of the classroom.

Stiles took a deep breath; this was going to be a long year.

“You’re right, Twilight— total load of shit.” He said passing out textbooks that he doubted would be returned to him. “Vampires don’t sparkle and more importantly they don’t fall for pasty teenage girls whose only emotion seems to be pure angst.” He said shrugging. “Werewolves though, they really are that hot” he said winking at one of the girls who almost snapped her neck looking up at him the second the word werewolves was out of his lips.

The guy scowled at him.

“Alright so your homework tonight is to bring me in a paper. Just a slip of paper with the name of any supernatural creature you’d like to be, you can write it now, you can write it when you get to class tomorrow, just do yourself a favor and write it.

His students groaned.

“And if everyone in the class does their homework for a week I will buy you pizza. Real pizza not the shit from the cafeteria.”

That got everyone’s attention.

“Alright I’ll see you all bright and early tomorrow” he said with a grin as the bell rang signaling the end of his class period.

Stiles laughed slightly to himself, tugging at his tie that was much too tight and settling down at his computer, he was going to have to work his ass off to make sure that these kids not only liked him, but also respected him.

Some days he regretted insisting to his father that “of course I know what I’m doing dad,” and “No I wouldn’t rather teach in California, New York is where I can do real well.”

His thoughts were interrupted by a medium height, dark haired student whose face was turned down into a frown.

“Mr. Stilinski”

“Yes um…” he searched his mind for the name, “uh, Derek?” he asked, the boy nodded.

Right Derek, one of his sets of twins. Him and his sister, uh, Laurie, Laura, something like that.

“I have a question about the book” Derek said; head ducked and words not coming out quite clear.

Stiles quirked an eyebrow. “we start reading it tomorrow, if you’re worried about not being able to read some of the content I’ll be reading most of it out loud so you don’t have to worry..” he said trying to give the boy a reassuring smile. Except he was distracted by how ridiculously attractive this particular student was.

He tried to remember which class Derek was in. he was almost positive it was the senior class that had just left. Which didn’t nessacaraly make ogling the kid any more okay, just a bit more legal?

“I’ve already read it.”

Stiles stared at him, surprised. “Derek, I’ve only given it out today.”

Derek blushed

That shouldn’t be okay. Stiles’ brain swam, That was just; it wasn’t okay for a student of his to be that attractive there should be a rule that they had to graduate before becoming miraculously—hot.

“I’ve read it before” Derek mumbled

Stiles couldn’t stop himself from grinning, “Well then” he said gesturing to the seat beside him. “Ask away.”

Stiles knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he should tell the kid that he’d see him tomorrow. Except for some reason he couldn’t make himself do that. Derek was obviously smart, this wasn’t an easy text to read by any stretch of the imagination and the fact that he had already read it before the class even began just lead Stiles to believe that he was all the more intelligent. 

Of course, this was really all the more reason to tell him to go away. Stiles liked smart people, Stiles liked attractive people, Stiles was beginning to like Derek.

Stiles wasn’t allowed to like his students because he knew all too well how quickly liking someone can turn to liking someone.

He didn’t turn him away.

Instead he invited Derek to sit and spent the next hour pouring over the book. Comparing favorite passages. Derek came out of his shell a little, not much. Still speaking in small sentences, only responding when spoken to, but when he spoke sometimes he smiled.

Stiles pretended that he was only happy because he was helping to aid a student in reaching their full potential, not because Derek had a breathtaking smile.

Something shifted in the air though when the bell rang, Derek tensed and frantically threw all of his things together and barreled to the door. He only turned around briefly to mutter thank you, which left Stiles feeling very confused and ridiculously guilty for spending his entire planning period with Derek.

He sat at his desk a moment before pushing himself forcefully out of his seat and marching to the guidance office.

“I’ve done something stupid.” He groaned throwing himself into the abused couch in the corner of Lydia’s cramped office.

“Was it stupider than dragging me from beautiful Beacon Hills California, to this shit hole of a city?” she asked, pen perpetually stuck between her brightly glossed lips, “because I doubt you can get much worse than that.”

Stiles groaned throwing his arm over his eyes, “somehow I seem to have managed.” He mumbled into the skin of his elbow.

Lydia laughed, “it can’t be that bad Stiles.”

“I…” Stiles shut his mouth; he wasn’t sure saying it out loud would make it any better.

“What Stiles it’s not like you’ve gone and slept with a student or anything.” Lydia joked, laughing her high pitched angelic laugh.

Stiles stayed silent.

“Oh my god Stiles you didn’t!” she exclaimed lobbing a stress ball at his face.

“Whoa, calm your tits Lydia! God, No I didn’t sleep with him!”

Lydia smirked, “but you wanted to?”

Stiles flushed, “that, it’s— it’s not like that.”

Lydia rolled his eyes, “Stiles it is the third day of school how have you already managed to fall in love with a god damn student. You do realize how stupid this is right?”

“it’s not like I meant to!” he exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air, “it’s not like I woke up this morning and went hmm I want to be a total Pedo today I think I’m going to meet the perfect guy oh and let’s not forget to make him 18 fucking years old!” he said dramatically. “And I’m not in love, I am simply enamored with his face, and smile, and intellect and—shut up” he said glaring at Lydia’s knowing smirk.

“I didn’t say anything” Lydia replied, rolling her eyes. “he is at least 18 right, like you checked before making gaga eyes over him for however long you did.”

Stiles blushed, beat red— flushed from head to toe and god damn it he was a grown man he shouldn’t be blushing anymore.

“Er…”

Lydia rolled her eyes, “now I see why you came to see me”

Stiles, If possible blushed even deeper… “I—uh…”

Lydia laughed, spinning herself around in her chair to face her desktop that was adorned with small purple flowers and had the saying ‘never frown, someone could be falling in love with your smile’ scrawled across the top in cursive.

“What’s his name?” Lydia prompted.

Stiles held his breath a moment, saying it out loud about a hypothetical student had been one thing. This was different. This was admitting that he Stiles creeper Stilinski had a crush on Derek Hale.

Who was a student.

Of his.

Like his actual student.

He was going to die of so many different levels of embarrassment it wasn’t even funny.

“Derek Hale.” He muttered almost under his breath.

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch that.” Lydia taunted.

“Derek Hale you jerk.” Stiles repeated louder, staring expectantly at Lydia who slowly tapped her fingers, typing as slowly as she possibly could. Stiles knew, he had seen Lydia write a hundred words a minute, typing Derek’s name into the school database should not take this freaking long.

“Come on Lyds; just tell me if I’m a pedophile or a stupid huge pedophile.

Panic filled his head as she froze, mouse hovering over information that he couldn’t quite make out from his position.

“I’m going to be fired” his mind supplied, “watch he’s a freshman, watch me have objectified a fourteen year old boy who just wanted help from his teacher.”

“He’s a senior.” Lydia chirped, continuing to scroll her way down the page.

She froze halfway down, face paling.

“Stiles.” She said, dread and panic filling her voice.

Stiles was too busy breathing out a sigh of relief to notice Lydia’s panic. He didn’t have to resign; he probably should anyway because he was going to end up being that creepy old teacher that none of the students wanted because he made them feel uncomfortable by staring at their asses.

“Stiles!” Lydia repeated, louder this time causing his head to snap back up, her voice was cracked and worn thin. Like little butter over too much bread, like it was taking all of her effort to even speak. “Stiles I know this kid.”

Stiles rolled his eyes slightly; he didn’t get what was so surprising about that. Sure school had only been in session for a few days but it wasn’t that improbable that she had seen him. “Okay so he’s been sent to the guidance office.” He reasoned.

Lydia shook her head harshly. “He’s Peter Hale’s nephew.”


	2. What if he isn't who you think he is?

“Fuck!” Stiles exclaimed, shooting off the couch and throwing his arms around Lydia. “Oh god Lyds I am so sorry, I had no idea. I wouldn’t have even..” he started but couldn’t finish. “I’m sorry, it’s okay, I’m here and I love you and I’m not going to hurt you.” He reassured stroking his hand through her hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

She stayed silent, head cradled against his collar bone, tears leaving damp splotches in his sweater vest.

His mind ran rampet with self repremendation; how the hell had he not made that connection. It wasn’t like Hale was the most common name in the world. It wasn’t like Smith, or Brown, or Adams or anything. God there was something seriously wrong with him.

“Lydia, Sweetie, I am so sorry.” He muttered, rubbing soothing circles on her back. She shuddered under his touch, sobs silently racking her body.

His heart broke a little more every time he saw her like this, his beautiful princess, broken.

"I thought I left him behind." She mumbled against his shirt. "I thought he was gone, I thought I would never have to see him again after we left."

Stiles took in a deep breath, “sweetheart I’m sorry.” He said stroking her hair softly, “I’m not going to let him hurt you again; I swear I’m never going to let him touch you.”

Lydia pulled back, wiping away her tears, eyes pink and puffy, tear tracks streaked down her face. “I hate him.” She said and Stiles nodded knowingly, running a thumb over her wetted cheeks.

"I swear ill kick his ass if he comes anywhere near you" he said smiling

Lydia laughed, it was forced and it sounded a bit fake but Stiles was going to count his blessings. “Yeah all 158 pounds of you.”

Stiles laughed, “I’ll have you know that I can kick some major ass thank you very much.” He said flexing his muscles and waggling his eyebrows.

Lydia swatted at his chest with a laugh, “come on idiot lets go home.” She said grabbing her purse and leading out the door.

Stiles laid in his bed that night, fretting over how he hadn’t figured it out. It was just, Derek wasn’t like Peter. Granted Stiles had only met peter briefly when he had picked Lydia up that night but he was…, Peter was a total asshole there was no other way to put it. He was glued to his phone, he fidgeted, he insulted Lydia’s outfit and in the five minutes that Stiles spent with him he already wanted to punch the man in the face.

Derek wasn’t like that. He wasn’t anything like Peter had been apart from their apparent love of leather. Derek; Derek was smart, and oddly funny and he stared at Stiles like the words that came from his lips were the secrets of life. He joked, and laughed sarcastically and said please and thank you and was somehow shy and extroverted at the same time. Dear god he was nothing at all like peter.

Stiles brain ran rampart with thoughts late into the night, red light reflecting the time in his eyes. midnight faded to four am faster than he expected and before he knew it he was yawning and pushing himself out of bed to get ready for school.

He shouldn’t be thinking these things—he reminded himself.

He shouldn’t be thinking about the curve of Derek’s lip, or the sparkle in his smile. He shouldn’t be trying to figure out exactly what shade of green his eyes were, or letting his mind wander to thoughts about what it would be like if maybe he weren’t Derek’s teacher, and Derek wasn’t a Hale.

He shouldn’t be thinking any of these things because Derek Hale was his student.

But more importantly, Derek Hale was the nephew of the man that raped his best friend.


	3. What if he is so much more?

Stiles would really like to pretend that he was good. He would like to say that he didn’t spend the nest too months trying to pry his eyes away from Derek in class. He would also like to say that he didn’t get distracted staring into his eyes—always glued on Stiles during lectures like a good student’s should be. He’d like to pretend that he didn’t forget what he was saying mid-sentence because he was distracted by the way that Derek’s pen slipped between his lips when he tried to focus. Most of all Stiles would like to say that when Derek appeared every day during his planning period that he most certainly did not spend the hour arguing with him about anything from the merit of Supernatural’s information—which was surprisingly accurate, to why he had cut his hair the previous week.

Stiles would like to say all of those things; but he would be lying.

He’d like to, but he would be lying.

Each and every day was a new struggle to keep his eyes from wandering to Derek’s shy smile, to pay no attention to the boy when his hand ran through his hair. A battle with himself to not call on him more than anyone else even though the kid absorbed information like a sponge. A fight to resist staring at the boy when his eyes poured over the pages of a new book, alight with interest and excitement.

He was very obviously, losing this battle.

"Mr. Stilinski," Derek smiled, addressing him as he slid into the second seat behind Stiles’ desk. Most of the time he used it to prop his feet up on while he was reading the text out loud to the class. But if he was being honest the main reason he had brought it into the classroom was so Derek would have somewhere to sit when they had these meetings.

Stiles wasn’t really sure why Derek left the classroom, only to turn around and come back in moments later. He didn’t go to lunch and as a senior he had the privilege of early dismissal, so logically Stiles’ class should have been Derek’s last of the day. He supposed it might have had something to do with Laura, maybe her credit hours didn’t qualify her for early dismissal and Derek was stuck waiting for her to finish her last class.

Whatever the reason, Stiles was secretly glad that Derek chose to spend this hour with him every day. Even though it was not helping in his war against his feelings for the kid. 

"You know Derek, I think it might be appropriate for you to call me Stiles now," he said smiling and pulling out the seat beside him. "Not in class though" he added as a last minute afterthought.

"Okay, Stiles then" Derek said, scrunching his face like the word didn’t taste right in his mouth.

"Alright Derek under what pretenses have you come today" Stiles asked with a smirk, because by now they very well knew that Derek was well informed on anything class related that he could possibly ask Stiles. Actually if he wanted to Derek could probably teach the class himself.

Derek smiled when Stiles handed half of his sandwich to him. It was part of the routine, Derek would ask a question, Stiles would answer and they would talk about anything and everything under the sky.

Meanwhile they would share Stiles’ sandwich and Derek would usually leave with a new book to read.

Stiles was scared to admit how much he looked forward to this part of his day.

"Harry Potter" Derek said settling down in the seat beside Stiles and taking a large bite out of the sandwich, egg salad which Stiles totally didn’t make at least once a week just because Derek mentioned once that it was one of his favorites.

Stiles quirked an eyebrow, “what is it? The werewolf, thing, or the ability to shift at will into another creature because I have a book on that somewhere.” Stiles said through a mouth of egg salad, standing up to scan his book shelf. “Oh there it is” he said “anamegi and their forms,” he said dropping the book on the desk beside Derek.

"No it’s…" he pulled out the small book, "I’m not sure how Fred and George had the map for all those years and didn’t wonder why Ron was sleeping with a guy named Peter every night."

Stiles snorted, hand shooting up to cover his mouth and prevent sandwich from flying everywhere when he laughed. “Oh gosh, I never even thought of that.” He replied thinking about it for a moment, running through the possible scenarios in his head before shrugging, “maybe they were respecting of his sexual preference.” He said decidedly after a moment.

Derek frowned, “I don’t think anyone would have been that supportive.”

”I’m not sure, my dad was pretty cool, and so was my step brother.” He replied without even realizing what he was saying until it was already too late.

That probably wasn’t the best thing to say, not that Stiles wasn’t “out” per say. He was, had been for a while; to his family and friends, and some of his coworkers. He just had a tendency to not flaunt the fact that he was gay to his students.

And if Derek’s scowl was anything to go by, he really should be more careful about holding his tongue around them.

Stiles hated when Derek scowled. You know how there are people whose faces are made for smiling, not frowning. Derek had one of those and he had just gone and made it all scowly.

"I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, can we forget that I said that? That wasn’t really something that I should have shared with you.” Stiles stammered shuffling his papers around in an attempt to gain some sense of control back.

"It’s not…." Derek paused taking a breath and twiddling his thumbs. "My dad just, wasn’t that supportive" he muttered frowning at the floor.

Stiles could almost swear he could hear his own heart shatter. That was just— sometimes Stiles forgot how lucky he had gotten with his dad. How most people don’t have fathers who just smile and tell him he had known since he was four when he said he wanted to marry Aladdin and ride on the tiger. He forgot that for most people, this whole coming out of the closet thing was a real issue. One that Derek was obviously living through right now.

"Derek" he said rolling his chair a little closer, "do you, would you like to talk about it?"

He had to force himself not to put a hand on Derek’s shoulder, or his knee in support.

He had to remind himself that he wasn’t here to be Derek’s friend he was here to be his teacher and teachers did not touch their students, the ones that did, weren’t teachers for very long afterwards.

Derek shook his head uncomfortably. “No, I live with my uncle” he said with a smile so fake Stiles just wanted to cry, “my uncle and his wife, its okay now.”

A wave of relief washed over Stiles, canceling out the panic that had filled him at the mention of the word uncle.

It wasn’t Peter.

Couldn’t be Peter because Peter wasn’t married.

The battle against his need to show his support in a tactile way was lost and he settled his hand reassuringly on Derek’s shoulder. “If you ever need to talk about this, or anything else I’m here.” He said, “and Miss. Martin too, I swear she’s the smartest person in the entire world an always knows just what to say. She regularly makes me want to crawl into a hole and weep over his superior perfection.” He joked trying to coax a smile out of Derek.

He didn’t succeed.

He pulled his hand away to rummage through his desk to fund a pen and a stick note, “I know it’s not much but this is my cell phone number. If there’s an issue, or you just need someone to talk to you can call me, or text me, or whatever you need to do.” He said handing the paper to Derek who held it in his hands, staring at it.

He nodded.

The bell rang out moments later sending Derek into his panicked flight towards the door; face hardening into a deeper frown.

Stiles’ face followed suit.

Derek walked out of the classroom and Stiles sat at his desk a minute, trying to get his head around what just happened.

Derek’s head popped back in the door a second later, “Uh—Mr., I mean Stiles.” He started, small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “thank you.”

And then he was gone.


	4. What if he can't see what you see?

Stiles knew he was stupid; giving his phone number out to one of his students was a bad idea. A horrible idea really, especially when you added into the mix that he sort of maybe had a huge crush on said student.

Apparently that wasn’t enough to stop him.

Stiles also knew that if Derek texted him about anything that wasn’t related to class, or some issue that needed to be addressed, that he should ignore him.

He didn’t.

From Derek

Supernatural is on.

To Derek

What channel?

From Derek

CW

Stiles sat down on the couch, flipping through stations till he was greeted with the face of Castiel in his grand entrance to the show.

To Derek

I love this episode.

From Derek

Me too.

From Derek

Cas is my Favorite.

Stiles twiddled his thumb, tryingto figure out what to reply. Cas was great, he really was but he was more of a Dean fan himself. Rugged, secretly smart, tortured soul type always got to him. Cas reminded him too much of himself sometimes, socially awkward, smart, head over heels for a guy he couldn’t have.

Stiles shook his head, he really should not be comparing Derek and himself to Dean and Cas. God he was the worst teacher ever.

To Derek

Have you finished your homework yet?

From Derek

how do you go from friend to teacher so quick?

From Derek

but yes.

To Derek

good. Wouldn’t want to fail you.

From Derek

funny. I know more than you sometimes.

Stiles laughed because it was true. Just last week he had been giving a lecture on the migration habits of fairies and Derek had been so kind as to remind him in the front of the entire class that fairies migrated from the south east to the north rather than the south west.

To Derek

you put me to shame you do.

From Derek

like anyone could do that.

Stiles forced himself to stop replying at times like these, whenever the flirty undertones became almost blatant and impossible to ignore. It filled him with guilt; Derek was still a student no matter how much he might wish otherwise. Because of this he opted out of answering, at least for a couple hours.

“You’re going to get fired.” Lydia said plopping down beside him with a piece of pie and a smirk.

“There’s nothing illegal about texting.” He said defending himself quickly.

“If you’re smiling that much I might beg to differ.” she replied waving her fork at him. “Child pornography Stiles, very illegal.”

Stiles snorted, “unless talking about Jensen Ackles cheekbones became porn without my knowledge, I am partaking in no such thing.” he replies dipping his finger into the whipped cream atop her pie and licking it off with a devilish smile.

“How long have you been texting him?” Lydia asked shooing his hand away when he went for another bite.

"Uh…. a little under two months"

Lydia shot him a glare. “You are hooked Stiles.” she frowned. “Just be careful, you know what Hale men are like.”

Stiles knew he shouldn’t but he got defensive. “Derek… Lydia Derek’s not like that. He isn’t going to hurt me! Hell I’m the one being the pedophile here.”

"I’m just saying, Peter didn’t seem like the type to tie you up and rape you either Stiles but he did. I’m just telling you to be careful."

It sent shivers down his spine when Lydia talked about that night so flippantly, like it was just another thing that happened.

Like, ‘I got the milk from the store’ and ‘I stopped by the bank.’ And ‘oh yeah let’s not forget some sleazy scumbag violated my consent.’

Lydia always won arguments when she did shit like that, made it seem like she didn’t matter.

“I will be” he reassured her, picking up his phone when it binged.

From Derek

I just wanted to say thanks

To Derek

For what?

From Derek

Everything you’ve done, just wanted you to know I appreciate it.

Stiles smiled.

To Derek

That’s what I’m here for.

From Derek

I’m sorry you wasted so much time on me. I wasn’t worth it.

Stiles’ heart dropped to his stomach. This was all starting to sound wrong, to sound eerily familiar to the messages he had sent Lydia when everything started going to shit. His fiancé had dumped him, his dad had gotten sick, Scott had left him for Allison again and Stiles, he was low. Derek’s words were beginning to sound a hell of a lot like his own suicide note.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, “Lydia I need Derek’s address now!”

Lydia put her hands on her hips defiantly, “Stiles if you go to that boy’s house you will be fired.”

Stiles flailed his hands trying to force them into his jacket while simultaneously shoving his feet into his shoes.

“Lydia Annabethe Martin, You listen to me! An eighteen year old boy is going to kill himself if you do not get off your god damn high horse and give me an address right this second I swear to god I will…”

Lydia’s face dropped frantically typing and pulling up the student files, “Oh god.” She muttered over and over while pulling them up. “Okay 1888 sycamore lane, he lives with.” Lydia paused.

Stiles was bouncing his leg, franticly panicked, “spit it out!” he yelled.

“He lives with Kate and Peter Hale.”


	5. What if he's gone before you can tell him how you feel?

Stiles would have liked to have had time to freak out about the fact that one of his students was living with a psychopathic rapist, but he was more distracted by trying not to crash into other cars when he sped down the road. He was also a more than a little concerned with stopping Derek from hurting himself. He could deal with Peter Hale later, and oh mark my words he was going to deal with Peter Hale later if it was the last thing he ever did.

He didn’t exactly obey traffic laws, but that was okay because if he did, Derek might have been dead before he got there. And he got there, eight minutes after getting into his car his fist was connecting harshly with the front door.

“I swear if you don’t open this door in the next five seconds, I will break it off its hinges!” he screamed trough the entrance.

The door swung open just as Stiles started to scan the lawn for something to break it down with.

“Mr. Stilinski?” a very confused Laura Hale asked standing in the doorway in her pajamas.

“Laura, Hi. Where is Derek?” He asked, twitching, tapping. Face burning hot and freezing cold at the same time and that wasn’t even including the overwhelming feeling he had where his head wanted to explode and his stomach wanted to empty its contents all over the porch.

"Um, in his room I think. I’m not sure I just got home"

Stiles pushed past her, “which room?” he asked

"I’m not sure you can…" Laura started looking offended, which was a pretty normal reaction to have when your teacher barges into your house, but he would deal with that later.

"Laura, he’s in trouble now tell me what room!" he demanded.

Laura pointed her finger at the room down the hall and Stiles rushed towards it flinging the door open easily.

Shit.

"Derek, Derek can you hear me?"

He was passed out on the floor, a bottle of vodka in one hand and a vial of pills in the other.

"LAURA CALL AN AMBULANCE" Stiles screamed shaking Derek slightly.

"Derek come on, wake up." He demanded pressing hard into his chest, shit; he had no idea what to do here. He could hear Laura talking to the ambulance outside the room but his attention couldn’t be farther from her.

He ran through a mental list of things Lydia had told him, but this, he wasn’t sure this was on there. He took a deep breath, sliding his sleeve up and shoving two fingers deep into Derek’s throat. It couldn’t kill him if it wasn’t in his stomach At least that was the theory.

Derek heaved the contents of his stomach all over the floor, barely conscious, sputtering and almost choking on his own vomit.

Everything went in a blur after that.

Laura accompanied Derek to the hospital in the ambulance, and Stiles followed close behind. He sat in the waiting room, eyes trained on the white wall in front of him. Heart beating irregularly, he could barely think straight. He had to force himself to remember to breathe in and out, in and out, in and out.

He wasn’t sure how long it was before Laura came out of the room to let him know what was going on.

"He’s okay. I mean he’s not okay, far from okay but he’s alive and he’ll be okay" she said sitting down beside him in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs.

He didn’t think he even tried to hide the relief on his face. He had never been so worried in his entire life. His heart had almost failed at the sight of Derek there, spread out on the floor, breath no longer rising.

Stiles could no longer imagine his days without Derek’s shy, dry humor, or quick retorts. He couldn’t even begin to think about what his life would have been like if he had succeeded tonight. He didn’t even want to think about it.

Despite how wrong he knew it was, he had fallen in love with Derek Hale, and there was no turning back now.

"That’s… that’s good." He said nodding, "did he, uh, did they say why he …"

Laura frowned, “no, he’s not speaking to anyone.”

She tapped her nails on the table next to her for a while. Stiles had a million questions but he didn’t think it was the right time to ask any of them. Not that Laura would even know the answer to most of them anyway, they were really things only Derek could tell him and he couldn’t be sure that he ever would.

"How did you know?" she asked suddenly. "I mean, I didn’t. I wasn’t even sure anything was wrong, He seemed happy, all the time and I just; I don’t know how I didn’t notice he was this upset."

Stiles shook his head, “It’s not your fault.” He reassured, “I wouldn’t have known either, I didn’t even suspect that he was this—not until he sent me a message.”

He buried his head in his hands, elbows propped on his knees. Holding back tears he had been so afraid to let come for so long. He didn’t know how to tell Laura without telling her that he had been in the same place not even a year before. Without telling her that he spent almost every waking moment thinking about, texting or talking to Derek, that he was just a creepy teacher with a fucked up obsession who had been in the right place at the right time.

“He told me he was sorry for wasting my time, and said that he wasn’t worth it.” Stiles said taking a deep breath “wasn’t like—like he was already gone. Like he didn’t exist anymore, like everything he was – was in the past.” Stiles said, heart physically aching, “It was almost word for word the same thing I told Miss. Martin last spring when I tried to kill myself.”

He didn’t look at her, and she didn’t say anything for a long while.

“he won’t ever stop talking about you, you know?” she asked, “can barely get two words out of him but if you get him started on anything related to you it’s all ‘Mr. Stilinski, this’ or ‘Mr. Stilinski that.’” She stared at him intently but he didn’t meet her eyes. “Before today, I thought maybe it was just hero worship or something, and earlier you just barged into the house and I thought ‘hmm maybe they’re fucking or something.’ But that’s not it is it?” she asked

Stiles buried his head in his hands again.

“You love him, don’t you?”

Stiles didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t going to lie to her. Not now, not with everything that was going on. But he wasn’t very well going to just admit it, he especially wasn’t going to tell Derek’s sister that he was in love with him before he even told Derek.

Which he didn’t have any intentions to do any time soon, so he just stayed silent.

It’s okay if you do, I mean, I think he loves you too.” She said voice warm and fond. “I’m going to go tell him that you’re here, he’ll probably want to see you.”

Stiles wasn’t really sure what he thought about Laura, she seemed like a conundrum. Or possibly a riddle, wrapped in a rhyme, wrapped in an enigma; whichever one was more confusing. She reminded him a good deal of Derek, which he supposed she should considering they were twins and all.

Stiles thinks that they’re more similar than he realizes, but the grin she wore when she came back to get him. It was nothing like Derek’s; it wasn’t forced like Derek’s had so obviously been some of the time. Nor was it the radiant thing that emerged so rarely once in a short while when Derek seemed truly happy.

It was, pained. Like underneath the happiness she was obviously feeling there was so much pain that couldn’t help but shine through.

Stiles couldn’t help but think that he was overthinking things.

He followed her into the room but froze in the doorway.

There wasn’t anything in the world that could have prepared him for seeing Derek like this. Pale, sick, stuck with so many wires and tubes, and Stiles almost turned around and walked right back out of the room, but he didn’t.

“Hi.” He said, walking hesitantly up to the bed before sitting in the chair beside it, hands resting on the railing.

“Hi.” Derek rasped back, frown etched on his face. “You didn’t have to come.”

Stiles frowned, “they did tell you what happened right? If I hadn’t shown up when I did, chances are you would be dead.”

He couldn’t help but be a little angry.

He didn’t know with what, with himself for not seeing this before it happened. With Derek for not telling him what was going on. With whoever’s fault this all was. With the world.

“Maybe that would have been better.” Derek mumbled, “Maybe she was right, I can’t even kill myself correctly.”

Stiles eyes widened, tears starting to well up in the corners at the words that slipped out of Derek’s mouth.

“Derek, who are you talking about?” he asked, forcing himself to keep his own hands in his lap to resist the temptation to try and hold Derek’s. “Why did you do this?”

Derek frowned, “I c—I can’t tell you.” He said, voice breaking into a sob halfway through his word.

"Why not?" Stiles asked, "Derek this is important, I need to be able to help you I need to make sure this never happens again."

Derek’s eyes were filled with pain, and tears and his voice lodged in his throat when he tried to speak.

"I can’t tell you because she’ll kill Laura if I do."


	6. What if someone was hurting him?

Stiles did not punch Peter Hale in the face and you could ask any one of the doctors or nurses that were around at the time that Peter told Derek he was being “dramatic” and to “stop being such a little shit.”

Stiles honestly had nothing to do with the black eye or the broken nose that Peter was sporting when he left, or at least that was his story.

What really happened went something more like this;

“Why are you always so dramatic Derek, really this whole troubled teen thing is getting out of hand, now if you apologize now and promise to stop being such a little shit I’ll think about letting you back into my home.”

Stiles’ fist made contact with Peter’s face before he even knew what he was doing.

It was satisfying the crack of his nose, the spurt of blood that poured out of Peter’s nose.

“That is for being an asshole to Derek.” He spat before punching him once again, glaring as the wounded man tried to cover his face, “and that, you giant dick, is for Lydia.”

“I don’t ever want to see your ugly face again, I’m not sure how this is your fault but I have no doubt in my mind that somehow it is.” Stiles said through clenched teeth, trying hard to resist the urge to beat the man senseless.

“I think you’ll find that he is my nephew.” Peter smirked.

The god damn asshole had the nerve to fucking smirk at him.

“I think that you will find that he is eighteen years old.” Stiles replied digging his nails into the skin of his palms to refrain from laying another punch on the guy’s jaw.

“Sure as hell doesn’t act like it, whining little brat…”

Peter probably had more to say, but Stiles never found out because he was too distracted by the groan the man let out when Stiles’ foot made contact with his groin, causing him to drop to his knees where Stiles proceeded to grab his hair and yank his head up so his eyes were locked on his own.

“I think it’s in everyone’s best interest if you leave now and never come back. If you don’t I’m sure I can think of some more body parts to injure.” He almost growled.

Peter stood and walked to the door almost all the way out before Stiles added, “And scumbag, send Laura in on your way out.”

Derek let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in which startled Stiles.

“Oh shit! I’m sorry I didn’t mean for you to see that; I just got angry and I’m sorry.” He muttered putting space between him and Derek backing towards the exit and accidentally bumping into Laura when she walked in.

“Did you just beat the crap out of my uncle? Not that I’m complaining, I’d just like to know who to send the trophy to.” Laura said throwing herself into one of the chairs at the far side of the room

Stiles ignored her, mentally still freaking out over what just happened.

He hadn’t asked Derek for his opinion on any of this, he really should have but he didn’t. He didn’t ask if he wanted to leave his family’s house, if he wouldn’t mind Stiles punching his uncle in the face. He just saw the way Derek flinched away when peter raised his hand only slightly and something inside him snapped.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Derek said.

“I know.” Stiles nodded, “and I really shouldn’t have, but I’m not sure I could have stopped myself if I tried.”

Laura made a small squeak in her corner and when Stiles looked over she was grinning and standing up, “I’ll just give you two some alone time.” She said winking at Stiles who flushed.

They didn’t speak for a while, Stiles found himself again in the chair at Derek’s bedside, fiddling his thumbs and trying to think of what to say.

“Do you like living with them?” Stiles asked, mostly because he wanted to swoop in and rescue Derek but he had to accept that maybe Peter wasn’t the problem. Maybe Stiles was projecting his hatred of the man onto Derek’s situation. Maybe he wasn’t being any better than peter by controlling the kid’s life and decisions for him.

“no.” Derek mumbled.

Stiles had never been so relieved to hear a single word in the English language in his entire life.

“I have a friend—She has an empty room, and Lydia – Miss. Martin and I have one in our apartment” Stiles said fidgeting, “so if you’d like to—I can send someone over to get your stuff today.”

Derek sat silently for a minute, “you want me to move in with you?”

Stiles frowned.

This was a stupid idea; it was the middle of January.

They still had entire semester left with Derek being his student and if the school board found out that he was living with a student he would be fired so fast his head would spin. But apparently around Derek he couldn’t be trusted to make good decisions.

“I want to make sure you’re okay.” Stiles said, “I’d like you to move in with us, and Laura to go stay with my friend Erica. She teaches self-defense and should be more than a match for anyone that might want to hurt her.”

Derek sat in silence for a while, not looking at him or at anything really before speaking.

“I need to talk to Laura first.”

Stiles nodded before standing up and sending Laura into the room.

He watched through the glass as Laura reached out to hold her twin’s hand, he said something and Laura’s face contorted in what looked like pain, and terror, and disgust. He watched until he figured it was too private. A moment between siblings that he shouldn’t have been watching to begin with.

It was only then that he pulled out his phone and called Erica and Lydia to tell them what he had done.

They both took a long time spelling out for him exactly all the ways that he was a complete and total idiot, but because he had the best friends in the entire world they agreed without question. Erica agreeing that she would take Boyd today and go pick up the twins’ things, and Lydia telling him that if he got fired, they would find an even better job somewhere else.

Stiles frowned and said goodbye to Erica when she hung up from their chat.

“Lydia, I’m most likely going to get fired—and I don’t even think I care.” He admitted, for the first time out loud to her; for the first time really to himself.

He had done so many things in the last four months that he would have never done if it hadn’t been for Derek. He punched someone in the face, he texted one of his students, he blew off planning his lessons during his planning period to talk to him which meant staying up until two in the morning finishing them instead, he broke so many traffic laws and he didn’t give a shit.

All he cared about was that Derek was okay.

That he as happy and safe; and that terrified him.

“That’s what love feels like.” Lydia said into the receiver, and Stiles could hear her smiling.

“I hate you.” He replied.

“I love you too.” She said before hanging up on him and leaving him alone in the waiting room with his thoughts.

“He wants to see you again.” Laura said, bringing him out of his thoughts some time later.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself.

He just wanted everything to be okay.

“hey.” He said walking back into the room, eyes trained on Derek.

“I’m not ready to tell you what happened yet.” Derek blurted, “I told Laura but I- You—I just can’t.”

Stiles nodded.

“You don’t have to.”

They sat in silence for a while longer, Stiles migrating to the chair beside Derek’s bed. Hand’s hovering near the bed-rail, He tried to convince himself that this was normal, that he would have done it for any of his students.

But the thing was he wouldn’t. He would have rushed to their aid for sure, he would have probably have gone as far as to barge into their rooms and stick their fingers down their throats. Maybe even gone with them to the hospital. But sitting here for what was going on 17 hours with no sleep. Punching their guardian in the face, offering them a home, trying to hold their hand in reassurance, Stiles would have never risked this much for just anyone.

Derek, Derek was different.

Stiles felt pathetic to say that it might be worth his career to help this kid, to keep him out of trouble, to keep him from whatever demons were haunting him. He knew it was stupid and immature and ridiculous to throw his life away for an eighteen year old kid, but sitting in that hospital room, staring at him.

He couldn’t help but think he was making the right decision.


	7. What if he was more than a little broken?

It was a week and a half before they would let Derek out of the hospital, and that meant it was a week and a half that Laura spent sitting in that chair next to him and Erica spent outside the door protecting them from whoever it was that Derek was so terrified of.

That meant that it was a week and a half of Stiles rushing his way trough class, assigning bullshit homework assignments that he would never collect and grade, and trying to turn his guest room into a place that was inhabitable for a real person. Because before the only guests who had stayed there, were boxes full of crap that Lydia and Stiles had never gotten around to unpacking and a crappy old bed.

Needless to say, Stiles was panicked, worried, and frequenting the Ikea website.

It didn’t help that Derek wasn’t really talking.

He spoke of course.

“yes.” “no.” “thank you.”

But only when spoken to, words had to be coaxed out of him.

He didn’t laugh.

He didn’t joke.

He didn’t smile.

He didn’t even ask questions.

He wasn’t really Derek anymore.

At least not the Derek that Stiles had come to know.

Stiles tried to remind himself that when he had been in this place, he hadn’t exactly been himself either. He had gotten drunk, hooked up with random men twice his age at skeezy bars and completely ignored his family and friends.

He supposed derek could be doing so much worse.

He was just worried, scratch that, he was just terrified that Derek was going to try again.

“they’re letting him come home today.” Lydia said coming up behind him at his computer and resting a hand on his shoulder. “you should be the one to bring him here.”

Stiles filled with panic, running trough a check list in his head.

He had gotten rid of all the knives, threw out all the alcohol, locked away all his medication, there was a bed, a book shelf, a dresser, and all of Derek’s things in the bedroom. well apart from the switchblade that they found in his bottom drawer, but Erica had given that to Laura.

The house was as safe as it was going to get, but he was still panicked.

“go on Stiles.” Lydia urged and he frowned but went and put on his coat.

This was going to be fine. There was nothing wrong with the fact that he was in love with one of his students or with the fact that he was going to be living with that student. Or with the fact that everyone seemed to know that he was in love with said student because he apparently couldn’t keep a secret if his job depended on it.

And it did.

That of course did nothing to stop Stiles from driving to the hospital and checking out a very quiet Derek and sending a very scheptical Laura with Erica.

“you have my phone number, you have derek’s phone number, you have Lydia’s phone number you live ten minutes away, and you have Erica who I’m sure if there is an emergency can get you to our apartment in five.” He assured, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiling.

“he’s going to be fine.” He said, not really sure who he was trying to reassure anymore. “I’m not going to let anything happen to him.

Laura nodded and Derek just stared at the wall from his place in his wheelchair. Stiles didn’t really get why he was in one, but the hospital had insisted and Stiles wasn’t really in the mood to argue so he just stuck Derek in the chair and started pushing.

Laura frowned, but she hugged Derek one last time and whispered something in his ear before starting to walk away. Derek grabbed her hand before she did, and looked at her, still silent before squeezing her hand.

Laura smiled.

“I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

Derek didn’t reply, but Laura smiled anyway.

“take care of him.” She told Stiles firmly before following Erica out the exit.

Stiles sighed, he was sure going to try.

“Alright Derek, lets do this thing.” He said putting on a fake smile. “We made you a nice room, I think you’ll like it. There are lots of books in there anyway, hopefully you’ll read them and then we can talk about them. We can talk a lot more with you living with me now.” He said smiling, “you don’t have to go back to school right away, but sometime in the next week would be good because the doctors said I can’t leave you home alone and I only get seven sick days. I can take more, I just won’t get paid for them but don’t feel like you have to.”

Stiles pushed the chair up to his car, “alright this is us.”

Derek nodded, stood up and climbed into the back seat.

Stiles frowned, his house was certainly going to be a lot quieter with Derek in it, that’s for sure.


	8. What if it was up to you to fix him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are Stiles' flashback to about ten months before.

Stiles didn’t expect things to go perfectly, he remembered what he had been like any time anyone attempted to talk to him for a while after what was now called “the incident.” He remembered that he didn’t want to talk to anyone. Not his dad, not Lydia, not Scott, and especially not Danny who had shown up at his door at least four times. Stiles remembered the phase where he shut everyone out, ate the bare minimum that they would allow him, and wouldn’t shower unless forced.

He also remembered what snapped him out of it.

“Alright I get that you’re depressed, I get that your fiancé dumped you and you’re all woe is me I have no reason to be left on this earth anymore. But you are going to get your butt up off that bed and you are going to come to class with me today because if you miss one more you aren’t going to get your masters and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you throw your life away over Danny!” Lydia had hissed at him, throwing his blankets off the bed and tossing a shirt in his face.

“I’m sick of enabling you, you are so much better than this wallowing. You might not see it now but you are going to meet someone way better for you than that asshole.”

He had groaned, but he had gotten out of bed. Not because he believed her but because he wanted her to shut up. He had gone to class, stared at the wall behind the professors head and spent the entire time wishing he were at home.

It took two weeks of everyone else but Lydia walking around on egg shells to make him realize that he didn’t want to be pitied. He didn’t want to be treated like he was broken, and if he didn’t want that he was going to have to stop acting broken.

And he did.

Stiles wouldn’t go far enough as to say he was fine, but he was seeing a therapist and the words he would use were “better.” And he was going to be damned if he saved Derek from that house only to watch him wither away here.

So, the day after Derek arrived, he woke up bright and early made breakfast and walked it into Derek’s bedroom.

“Rise and shine grumpy gills.” Stiles chirped.

He had hated it when anyone was cheerful and annoying when he was going through all this shit, but that just meant he would do whatever they wanted to make them stop talking. That was why Lydia and Allison had been the ones sent to make him shower. Stupid happy little morning birds.

He guessed it was his job now.

“Up, up, up!” Stiles said tossing one of Derek’s pillows at his head. “Breakfast then therapy.”

Derek’s eyes flew open.

“Yep, I thought that would get your attention.” Stiles said, settling the tray on Derek’s lap.

“You are coming with me today, you’re going to see my therapist and you are at the very least going to acknowledge her existence. You don’t have to talk, you don’t have to tell her your deepest darkest secrets but you are going to acknowledge that she is a human being because I’m done with this whole ‘staring right through people’ bull shit that you’ve been pulling.”

Derek raised an eyebrow at him as if he was surprised Stiles was being so abrasive.

To be fair, Stiles had never really been all that abrasive with him. Mostly because Derek did exactly what Stiles wanted him to, no questions asked. But Stiles was someone who got what they wanted and if he didn’t get it the first time he was going to keep pushing until he wanted it.

And right now he wanted Derek to get better, and by golly he was going to push for as long as it took.

“Come on, eat food, I know you like it I called Laura to ask.”

Derek looked at him like he didn’t quite believe him.

“Well I called her last night; it’s not like she’d pick up this early in the morning.” Stiles explained.

Derek’s face relaxed and his gaze fell on the food in front of him. Bacon, Eggs, Toast with Peanut Butter, Orange Juice without pulp.

Laura had insisted that it was his favorite and if Stiles could get him to eat anything it would be that.

Apparently she was right because Derek hesitantly grabbed at the toast and took a bite.

Stiles grinned but bit back any condescending comments he might have had. There was a difference between tough love and being a dick and Stiles was trying to avoid crossing that line.

“Alright so I’m gonna go grab you a towel and you can finish eating and then jump in the shower and then we’ll head out.” Stiles said, patting the bed in front of him.

Derek nodded.

Hey look at that! They were really getting somewhere; nonverbal communication was a stepping stone to actual verbal communication. Stiles hoped that meant that Derek was getting a little better and not just that he was annoying enough to elicit a response.

Stiles walked back into the apartment, trying to remember where Lydia said she put the “guest towels” but he blanked. He pulled open all the closets and couldn’t find them. He sighed, traipsing into his own room and grabbing one of his clean towels off his dresser. Derek was just going to have to deal with Stiles’ geeky towels that Lydia insisted were not fit for “regular human use” because they had Star Trek characters on them.

But really who didn’t want their naked body surrounded by Spock?

Okay well maybe it was just Stiles.

He walked back to Derek’s room pausing to knock a moment.

Derek didn’t say anything so Stiles took that as permission to enter.

“Hey so I know Lydia said something about guest towels yesterday but I can’t find them anywhere so you’re stuck with mine for a bit, hope you don’t mind.” He said setting the towel on the edge of Derek’s bed. “You know where the bathroom is and stuff, if you want we can go shopping for Shampoo and Conditioner and your own towels and stuff after therapy.”

Derek nodded.

Stiles took a breath and nodded as well. “Alright well I’ll let you get to that, I’m gonna go email the sub so she doesn’t completely screw up class today, and your appointment is at ten.”

Stiles stood and walked back out into the living room, picking up his laptop and settling down on the couch to email the sub and check his Facebook.

He deleted the friendship request from Greenburg for the eighth time that month when he heard the spray of the shower.

He smiled.

This might be a slow process, and he didn’t expect it to just suddenly be perfect or anything. But maybe, just maybe, everyone would turn out okay.


End file.
